LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I studied corporate finance, also quantum physics too, I got a job in banking, managed money, for people like you, Then the securities marke...

I went to Suite Ste. Marie to play around the locks, As ships pulled into the locks, I dropped on them small rocks, The police came for me, ...

I took a metal detector, through a cemetery near Des Moines, I got a hit from way deep down, that turned out to be a rare gold coin, Then al...

Someone broke my pogostick, and J am hooting mad,😡 When I find out who did it, they will be so sad,😭 I'll tell them they smell like fe...

I have squatted 10,000 days, and been in jail, 10,000 more, Spending  nights in comfy, warm beds, next day, it's jail, and a food store,...

I went to the pirate's perch to see if I could get back my stuff, It's an apartment over a bar, where porch pirates drink and puff, ...

Porch pirates were active during the night, I now have no morning breakfast to bite, I am one hungry dude, They stole all of my food, Alas, ...

My neighbor made some delicious, pirate soup, It came from canned goods, he stole off someone's stoop, He also stole some bread, Wanted ...

Porch pirates have snuck up to my porch, backdoor, They stole packages, my puppy, and porch floor, If they think they can deal, There's ...

The bounty hunter caught me, he was hot on my trail, He told me that I must pay the bill on my huge bail, As robber of my hood, I will pay, ...

I have a sneaky canary named Chirp, He steals things, so he is a perp, He stole my popcorn, For his cage, to adorn, I locked his cage; he ha...

I love to get free candy canes everywhere I go, But, now most stores don't give them out,  So, my stash stays pretty low, Of cours...

My bill collectors suggested, I sell my kidney and my spleen, They said they were trying to help me, and not trying to be mean, So, I sold a...

Mr. Mugger had some debt, He had bills he could not pay, He figured he was really set, ‘Till he lost his job one day, Mr. Mugger lost h...

Some guy got lost way out in my woods, We robbed him, we were dressed with yellow hoods, I told him, "follow my bro, The Toad", ...

Things are real fine in my far neighbor's hood, The people live within fences, and behave really good, But where I work, live and stay, ...

I'm running for sheriff and I think I already lost, I got arrested seven times and I'm sure that'll cost, As an accountant I get...

I spied a pirate on my porch, and he was a sneak, Before he grabbed my package, he took a gallon leak, It was the pirate's fate, The pac...

Watch out for monsters, they'll steal all your bling, They ripped out my piercing and gnawed off my ring, And my bracelet of gold, Was r...