LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

It's a Saturday night out for my old Uncle Lee, He can kick up his heels, for a small price, nearly free, There's  cards, darts, bin...

My bestie, blue pig, got all covered with the mud, I set him down in a tub of hot soapy sud, He let on a big, loud squeal, Like a braked Che...

There was a twisting snownado that froze Jimmy's pipes, The family couldn't flush the toilet, after their wipes, It all made Jimmy m...

Uncle Lee rode his small scooter into a pickup truck backend, He totaled his little scooter, and his body he could not bend, The nurses put ...

I went online to check on my investments in the stocks, Instead of investing, I should have just watched the Tic Toks,  My whole portfolio s...

I'm accused of not being sensitive, not sensitive at all, I make people uncomfortable, just by strolling through a mall, I never comb my...

I am told I have extremely "bad rizz", My personality, has done a fizz, How does rizz grow? If it grow, will I know? I want my pop...

Santa isn't using reindeer to pull his sleigh, this year, Instead, he's hired unicorns, they're cheap, they'll work for beer...

I only get it once a year, The winter solstice, lets be clear, It's a cold night, Warm clothes are tight, Then at midnight, we raise a b...

I went to the snow filled forest, Primeval, today, To cut down some trees, to heat my cabin until May, Used a sleigh, pulled by dogs, To bri...

My small, quiet home was attacked by aerial drones today, I believe the drone soldiers came from somewhere far, far away, So many drones did...

When the lake dam burst, my log cabin took a rigorous swim, Along with my sports card collection, and my pet spider, Jim, The log cabin fell...

There was a mystery drone that landed on my trailer house, The drone crushed in the roof a bit, and caused an "eek!", from a mouse...

Ben climbed up to the top of a mountain, to look down on the city, Ben was excited to watch off-world drones, attack without pity, Where tho...

I made out all my Christmas cards, but I could not find my address book, I thought of where it could be, but it wasn't there when I took...

I was raising expensive little corals in my guppy, fishy tank,  I wanted to sell corals for money, and put the money in the bank,    But, th...

My fish tank was so full of guppies, they flopped onto the floor, They'd dry and my kitty would eat them, then looked around for more, T...

My newest, best friend, Giggles Farley,  Many claimed, he liked to make parlay, But, he wouldn't speak, Wouldn't open his beak, He m...

Dolph, the sleigh bell, Santa reindeer, had a big, shiny tail, You could see him flying through snowstorms, and rainstorms with hail, On coc...

I decorated with lights, that make twinkles I made sugar cookies, and added sprinkles, I hung up my longest, clean stocking, Put Teddy in th...