LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My cinnamon oatmeal was too hot, and it burned my pink lips, I use to eat lots of bacon, but bacon made huge, my hips, Each morning drink pr...

There was a girl named Denise, Her favorite food was bacon grease, As for the bacon, She found it chewy and forsaken, But, the tasty asp...

My fresh blueberries, they all ran away, I had saved them for my cereal day, My cereal tastes like straw, And someone's chewed chaw, And...

Apple Fritters Monday is how the usual morning, work week starts, Apple fritters are sweet and greasy, full of sour, fruity tart, tarts, Fri...

My roommates sent me to Belgium to buy waffles and eggs, I could not find either one, although I walked off my legs, I flew straight back to...

I opened my refrigerator, and maggots were eating my beef roast, J wondered how the maggots tasted, so I ate some on my buttered toast, They...

I am a little hominid, and I need something to eat, I burn a lot of calories, standing on my hind, two feet, I love bacon and eggs, Maybe, f...

I eat mostly the legs off chicken, I eat down to the bones, where I find slim pickin, I drink applesauce, Till I'm sick and toss, Bird a...

Grandma was upset to see an apple worm in her apple juice, I two fingered out the worm so grandma would drink, that I deduce, I was out of l...

It was cold in the morning, so Ben boiled some rice, To give it good flavor, Ben buttered it twice, To give his bowels some torque, Ben adde...

My pancakes smell like fungi feet, So no one would give them an eat, My eggs, no one would chance, Because of a smell circumstance, Like dia...

I had me some eggs with runny yolk, Washed them down with Diet Coke, Ate 2 lbs of salt, had a stroke, My driver's license got a revoke, ...

I put some bacon on my toast, With a banana and hunk of roast, And a chunk of cheese, Then ice cream to please, Topped with cherries, wh...

I went to do an internet post, While in thought I burned my toast, It was my last slice of bread, That was not stale, moldy dead, My coffee ...

So I could find my day through, I ate an oatmeal bowl times two, I've a long list of to do, Starting with a dog walk and poo,  Then, I...

I fried my pancakes the best I canned, In bacon grease I watched them expand, I feed my guy lots of grease, Though, it clogs his ticker piec...

My scrambled eggs ain't pretty, They are mostly grits and gritty, When you barf, you'll have my pity, Then, you'll complain on F...

My new robot's name is Sam, He made me a breakfast with raw eggs and fried ham, But, the silverware wasn't clean, And, I became r...