LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

There is a fairly young dragon, who lives down by the big lake, He lives in a cave made of clam shells, from his picnic clam bake, Since nic...

I went camping at a campground called, Three Pines and One Bat, I saw the three dead pines, but worried, where was the bat at, Then, ouch wh...

I have a little goldfish, and the goldfish smiles, right at me, He sees me through his thick glass bowl, the water, and his cloud of pee, My...

Benny bought a python, so he could learn to write some computer code, The python squeezed poor Benny so tight, Benny lost his big, colon loa...

There once was a real mean, grouchy old pig, everyone called him, Sick Sam, He was always blowing his big, snout nose, because he was one ol...

I grow some corn to feed my cows, along with alfalfa hay, I make sure to feed all of my cows, on each and every day, Once all my cows are fu...

My Uncle Lee has been acting very weirdo, strange, Ever since Uncle got that slight case of doggy mange, He also caught a pox,  While confin...

I wanted to have daily, fresh eggs for family treats, I went to the pet store, and  bought a pair of parakeets, The two birds, I did beg, Di...

I thought I was eating some really fine, stringy noodles, Turns out, I was slurping the hairs of my little poodles, I didn't have a hunc...

Karen the mad cow, she always bites, Anyone she observes wearing tights, It's offensive to her, If you are not wearing fur, It's lik...

For a chicken meal, I went out to a farm, I bought a live chicken, intending it harm, Her beautiful name was Grace, I took her back to my pl...

I'm accused of not being sensitive, not sensitive at all, I make people uncomfortable, just by strolling through a mall, I never comb my...

I went blackberry picking, and dropped a blackberry upon the ground, I bent over to pick up the berry, and heard a bear growling sound, I sc...

Mr. Randy had a tailor too, And a man who cut and stitched each shoe, Dear, old Mrs. Fox, Knitted Randy's socks, His coat came from a co...

I went swimming with the turtles, and what did I find? Turtles like to snap toes off, which left me in a bind, I would have drowned that day...

Donny was a really mean, awful git, Donny had a big bulldog, he called Pit, Donny teased him with meat,  But wouldn't let poor Pit eat, ...

Johnny banged, and banged, and banged on the floor, Johnny hurt his self, and he did it no more, He calmed down real good, He did just as he...

Everyone loves my Christmas goat cheese, I bring some to work each year, as a smell tease, Sometimes it ain't right, And, empties bowels...

While looking for socks, I found me a conch shell under the bed, Not sure how long it's been there, but I think the conch is long dead, ...

I walked on down to the pond, and there met Mr. Prince Charming, He had invested his nest eggs into Polliwog farming, It was just a terrible...