LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Benny collected coins of silver and gold, They came from the mint, authenticated, I’m told, He should have been very rich, But there was ...

There once was a mean weasel named Sis, If you came near, she would start to hiss, When Sis was a wee babe, She was bit by brother Gabe, ...

My new pet peacock came from mars, He told me that his name was Lars, He said "feed me well and I will stay, If you don't I'...

Mary’s toes were really jammed, Her smelly feet gave her friends woe, But, her nose was stuffed and smelled no scent, So, she gave her n...

Jeeter liked to watch the clock, He watched at work each day, Jeeter got almost nothing done,  But, he still expected pay, One day Jeet...

At hunting camp I got the boot, I spoiled the big turkey shoot, When the turkeys came by, I yelled “get lost or die”, I saved lives and ...

In the backwoods of a Michigan cedar swamp, I built myself a still, It was a place where all my kith and kin, Could party and drink their...

My psychic told me not to eat out tonight, She said if I did I’d go blind; lose my sight, So, I made dinner at my house, Ate some tainted...

My pet peacock believes that he comes from Mars, I think he spends too much time in bars, He staggers home late at night, Unable to gain...

I googled and googled and googled one day, To find my best bud in high school, Old lizard lips Clay, I found him not in a very good way, ...

It is extremely sad, The tragedy that befell my bud Brad, He ate angel food cake, Then drowned in a lake, Seems you are what you eat and...

I got pine tree juice all over my two feet, It's sticky and nasty and just can't be beat, I tried to use soap, But it gave me no ...

Mailbox, forlorn soul, Icy road, bad driver,  SMASH! Metal scraps, goodbye.

Cream soda, moon pies, Nutritional? Summer snack, Lazy days and me.

Being smart or having looks that stun, Is for the dullards and the geeky, The greatest minds will gain their fun, From the joy of being s...

It is now January "09", The full moon looks like blood wine, I really don't care, Because I am a bear, I going to sleep an...

There was a monkey in a cage, His incarceration filled him with rage, If you wanted his scoop, He’d throw at you some poop, Interpretati...

A satirical limerick was let loose, That helped to cook a Congressman’s goose, It made him look bad, So, he got really mad, And, banned ...

When Santa sits around unemployed, He stares off into the void, Soon lickety-split, He jumps up, he can’t sit, He must design a toy dogg...

Although this day was very bright and quite sunny, I did not find the day to end up very nice, Because my bad roommate who found it profou...