I GRABBED TOO MANY FREE HOLES, AND THEY SENT ME TO JAIL

I am a tired, poor, dumb, miserable, wretched, starving slob,

I went to the store for free samples, I had no money, no job,

Doughnut holes were signed "One Free Sample",

I grabbed a handful; they had ample,

I was presently arrested, they called my hole grab, a big rob.