LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I keep a large chamber full of tormented, lost souls, Brought to me by the little, cemetery ground moles, Many departed are crying, They are...

There once was a big dragon, named Steve, He ate witches on All Hallows Eve, He ate a demon called Zeaming Now Steve's ears are both ste...

Well, today we've gained an extra hour, That gives us time for all to shower, So, relaxed starts the day, Cause, Daylight Savings T...

Poor, old Uncle Joe could never find romance, Joe became an expatriate, to South France, All the day long, He'd hum his song, At night t...

There was a little werewolf in the tree, The werewolf sat there waiting, just for me, He growled and showed he was grumpy, So I gave him a f...

There once was an iconic, little blogger who could, He often made videos about carving craft wood, Then he'd slice up some ham, And fry ...

I played with his new sneakers, and his sneakers were blue, I chewed on his iconic socks, and they were blue too, I'm the cutie cat, nam...

I created a sweet meme to see if it could gain traction, Unfortunately, my new meme got no reaction, It was a silly meme, It was sort of ext...

I rode on a magic reindeer in the velvet sky, I stole the deer from Santa, at the North Pole Fish Fry, I rode the reindeer all night, Until ...

The guy was away handling pots and pans, He was the cook on a ship named, The Hans, When the ship sunk down, That cook guy did drown, Trying...

In the Michigan city, called Battle Creek, I went to a thrift store and bought an antique, A cute porcelain bear, With ginger colored hair, ...

Jimmy got locked into flossing, and flossed his front teeth every day, Jimmy thought flossing was iconic, but he lost his teeth anyway, When...

My overgrown, deep reddish, raspberry vine, Dug its sticky prickers, deep into my spine, They stuck me so deep, They bled me to sleep, I now...

Mr. Randy had a tailor too, And a man who cut and stitched each shoe, Dear, old Mrs. Fox, Knitted Randy's socks, His coat came from a co...

Yesterday, I rode upon the air in a big, old airplane, A Seattle destination, was my one goal, to obtain, The dang, old plane hit some torqu...

In the small town of Mancelona, there was a dream, To build a family fun park with an outdoor theme, The theme chosen was bears, But it gave...

I dream all day long of pickled pigs feet, It's the only food for super I'll eat, I chew on the thick pig fat, Thinking I'm one ...

Alden did a Tuesday podcast on making a nice, lemon tea, He thought he would get a million watchers, but all he got was me, I had to scoff, ...

After the farm hay, I put away,🚜🌄 An October rainbow made my day,🌈 I picked my pumpkin patch,🎃 It was a record batch,💲 Some bugs ate my...

I painted a picture on velvet, and I call it art, It's a painting of the constellation called "Grocery Cart", Everyone can see...

There was a politician, and his name was Sammy See, He stated he'd do anything to get my vote from me, I said I wanted pickles in a jar,...

Mary had just two pairs of socks, she bleached them white as snow, Everywhere that Mary went, one pair was sure to go, Mary bloodied up her ...

Big Denny fell down out of a coconut tree, Then got buried by tree nuts, and stung by a bee, Some runny coconut milk, Stained Denny's  s...

My doggy ate my goldfish, and my doggy at a little shrew, My doggy ate my new tennis shoes, because that's what doggies do? My doggy is ...

There is a tree called weeping willow, and one was weeping in the street, It weeped upon my brand new shoes, and got wet my stockings and my...

I went to a flea market in Saginaw Michigan, to buy me some wooden pears, They had wooden pears in all colors and sizes, sorted in baskets o...

Goldfish Rhonda, walked on her tale, out of the sea, She brought me gold, so I could wear bling and watch tv, I made buttered popcorn, She h...

My term paper is due and I must get locked in, If I don't get locked in my grade is in the bin, My caffeine coffee is strong, Like my ch...

My pet red dragon Frederick, has four wings, They are great for doing acrobatic things, He can swirl in a turn, With a fire breathing burn, ...

I ate way too much, so I thought it caused me to be sick, Then I remembered, I swallowed a pointy, thin toothpick, To the ER I was sent, Sta...

I failed all my finals and flunked out of college school, I went to work for my uncle, who does dye and tool, In my 40th year, Claimed my pe...

I was gonna do up some sour pickles that are dilled, I was gonna sell um, up by the highway, where it's hilled, Then I found my dill was...

Down in the new shopping mall,Ted was mewing on display, Showing off his big jaw bone size, throughout the live long  day, Before Ted headed...

My kite has captured the eyes of the town, My kite has the face of a circus clown, My kite is controlled by AI, It twists and turns sharp on...

In a small cave I threw a nice party, Then shows up, my worst enemy, Marty, Marty drinks our mixed juice, Then mean Marty lets loose, Drivin...

There were once eight garden heroes, called The Potato Super Eight, They protected the vegetable garden, and they were first rate, They chas...

Several blue jays set on my laundry line and made a swing, They swung one at a time like it was a competitive thing, Each swung high for a w...

Tom's black eyed peas tasted delicious with butter and salt, Tom ate too much, so he puked, which caused his eating to halt, Tom then gu...

The bounty hunter caught me, he was hot on my trail, He told me that I must pay the bill on my huge bail, As robber of my hood, I will pay, ...

Nitty Gritty had no pity, He owned the slums in the city, The rent was high, I said bye, bye, My new box is itty, bitty.

I lived during the great, strange time of the memes, Some were silly and funny, others caused screams, But I am not going there, I fear the ...

Psychic Mystic Merkel tells the true About the future of me and you, Your mom and dad,  They hate me bad, If we breakup, it'll be a booh...

I had a watermelon, and I cut the melon into three, One piece for my dog Lindsey, and the other two pieces, for me, Then I ate a spiral ham,...

I spied a bearded iris in a sea of white snow, I couldn't imagine what made that lovely iris grow, The cold made me sneeze, hack and cou...

Today I found a wrinkled carrot, sealed tight in a glass mason jar, It got really dry and spongy, sitting in the backseat of my car, Where d...

I went tenting, but I lost my warm cozy tent, A tornado grabbed it, then back home it was sent, Black rain clouds became my ceiling, Electri...

Young Jim Flip Joy LaRoy, Loved his new airplane toy, He took it to school, Kids broke it, so cruel, Jim had tears to deploy.

I walked into the butcher shop, and found a dire werewolf, lurking the store, He had eaten all the butchers and clerks, and the old guy who ...

Because I leave my accounts, so unattended, On most social media, I've been unfriended, I deleted all the posts, My fans hate the most, ...

My pacemaker picked up the heart pace, So I stayed part of the human race, I could no longer eat, Tasty, fatty, salt meat, And that was a bo...

Jimmy was invaded by cooties; they ran up his big nose, Some cooties dripped out in ice-snot, when the temperatures froze, Jimmy said a litt...

All the little humans they learn, learn, learn, That makes their little brain cells churn, churn, churn, Then they work for others who are s...

My awful in-laws have eaten all the worms in my pail, I needed the worms to go fishing, to catch me a whale, It just is not funny, Those wor...

I just picked a little tiny, brown nut, From a tree growing over my shack-hut, Oh, Glory bee, The nut was free, The excitement ended my dail...

My pot of stew fell off the counter, and spread all sloppy across the floor, Then an invading army of cockroaches, came in under the front d...

I knew this guy named Caesar, and he YouTubed making pizza pie, I joined him for a joint collab; my food was a greasy French fry, The pizza ...

I felt great pity for the salmon I caught from the sea, I cried when his sad eyes were begging to send him home, free, I scraped off his sca...

The stew I ate was full of stones and dirt, The stew caused me a real awful, bad hurt, I cracked a dear tooth, I had since my youth, And bro...

Darren had a hackey sack, that he kicked around all day, Then along came Jimmy, who kicked the hackey sack away, Because of Jimmy's bad,...

The big, bad dragon really screamed, the big, bad dragon really roared, After Sammy bled it dry, with a little, pretend sword, Then Sammy go...