LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

There once was a man named Perkins, He loved eating sour Gherkins, He ate so many one night, His lips puckered up tight, It took days to...

Melvin the horse was extremely crazy indeed, He sold hen houses to chickens for chicken feed, He got them great loans, They couldn't ...

I went to my banker when I lost all my money, He said that in his world everything looked real sunny, He said with regret, He had more to...

There was a girl from Traverse City, Her eyes were bright her hair was pretty. She laid in the sun, Till she was well done, Now her skin...

THE FARMALL TRACTOR LIMERICK Ode to the famous Farmall tractor, In rural lands it's a big actor, It plowed up the fields, Gave farme...

Vengeance is a lonely child, Kept pregnant deep within, When let loose it's mind is wild, The base of original sin.

VERSE I Solid morning fog, Sweet vapors of yesterday, Melting into dresms. VERSE II The thick morning fog, Sweet vapors of yesterd...

There was a small monkey named Andy, He loved a baboon named Sandy, But, because of the gov. They couldn't marry their love, Yet, th...

The Winter Sleeper, Green goddess of the forest, Awaken to the sun.

There once was a small flea named Norman, He worked construction as a foreman, He mixed up cement, It made him content, It was better th...

There once was a rabbit named Sam, He ate Easter eggs with his ham, When he ate some roast beef, His belly had grief, Cause he spiced it...

There was a girl from the Midland mores, She liked doing dishes and scrubbing floors, She would work half a day, She would work for no pa...

I knew a leprechaun whose name was Phil, He liked to eat sour pickles and dill, He ate so many one day, He tuned green like the bay, You...

Leprechauns live in the county of Clare, In Clare there are leprechauns everywhere, They run the hotels, And ring the church bells, And,...

There was a leprechaun named Sue, Her hair was red, her eyes were blue, A man from the city, Thought she was real pretty, So, he married...

Shannon was the girl I loved, I loved her through and ture, But, when I told her of my love, She said I don't love you. She said I ...

My girlfriend Jane was near sighted, After glasses her eyesight was righted, She took one look at me, She said set me free, For my love ...

I bought a Toyota Car, I thought I would really go far, I slammed on the brakes, Found out they were fakes, They scraped me up off of th...

There once was a girl named Taylor, She went to college at Baylor, But, when she went home, It was too cold in Nome, So then she ran...

There was a big farmer fella, He married a gal named Stella, They found a home with some charm, They began a mushroom farm, Raising mush...

There was a squirrel that liked his nuts, He buried them in holes and ruts, The squirrel was slow, So when there was snow, He starved be...

To give them the ability to travel through space, I re-engineered the creatures, called the "human race", They need little oxygen ...

I went swimming in a swampy lagoon, My only light was the light of the moon, While swimming on my back, I was a swamp monster's snack...

I'm on social media, and I'll do anything for a cheap click, I'll tell lies, twisting news about celebs, into stories that are s...

I see a little bird fluttering it's wings, It lands upon a branch and then, it sings and sings, Happy is the bird this day, Unknown, it...

Almost all are riding a dumb donkey, because of the high price of car gas, We've all had to adjust, slow down our life styles, and give ...

There was a little bee named Barry, He couldn’t get a girlfriend ‘cause his legs were hairy, So he tried to groom, Shaved his legs zoom, ...