IT'S NEWS YEARS EVE AND MY GIRL MARY

It’s New Years Eve and my girl Mary,
Ran off with some dude she called Barry,
Even my pup ran off with some mutt,
Leaving me watching a documentary on the life of king Tut,

I’m so very glad that this year,
Has reached its imminent demise,
I shed not a single tear,
I hope next year I’ll be wise,

No girlfriends for me,
No pets for me anymore,
I’ll cherish the time I am free,
While only myself I’ll adore.

WHY CAN'T I SELL MY STOCKS ON CHRISTMAS DAY?

I went to sell my stocks on Christmas Day,
For I needed to buy presents and no way to pay,
But, Wall Street was closed down,
My family was coming to town,
So, I skipped out of town to L.A.

THE SATIRICAL LIMERICK

The limerick man wrote a limerick in jail,
It was about the high cost of bail,
The judge read it twice,
Raised the bail up thrice,
So, the limerick man still sits on his tail.