SOPHIE AND SONS

Sophie and sons were all armadillos,
One day they ran out of blankets and pillows,
They had quite a scare,
But, quickly grew hair,
And nested in the leaves of the willows.

THE TRAVELS OF LEIGH COLLIN BRANDT

I went to Russia to visit the Louvre,
But, I guess to Paris it made a sudden move,
I went to Spain to see the Pyramids of old,
But, I guess to Egypt they had been  recently sold,

I went to Ireland to watch the Mets play,
But, the Mets moved to New York the local Irish did say,
I went to Amsterdam to visit the Pope,
But, he had been moved to Rome so, I felt like a dope,

Why do things change so I can’t keep them straight?
Will showing up at past events and times be my fate?
But, I live with a passion, and even a hope,
That at the end of my travels I’ll find scented soap.

HOW TO HURT YOUR FAMILY WITH SOCIAL MEDIA LIMERICK

There was a man, who was so vehemently bitter,
He attacked all in family over the media called twitter,
He made fun of  his cousin the monk,
Said his car-dealer uncle sold junk,
He even said his sister was a poor baby sitter.

DAISY HAD AN EVIL ID LIMERICK

Daisy had an evil Id,
It came out when she was a kid,
She spread evil rumors,
About Mary's bloomers,
And, everything that Mary did.