My pretty pet pig felt so forsaken,
When her boyfriend was sold for back bacon,
I fed her a lunch,
It was bacon,” crunch, crunch”,
She wonders why her heart had been achin’.
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Saturday, November 18, 2017
MY PRETTY PET PIG
Labels:
ANIMAL LIMVERICKS,
ANIMAL SATIRE,
LOVERS,
PIG LIMERICKS
Thursday, November 16, 2017
THE MIXED METAPHOR OPINIONS
Once I was a young belligerent fool,
My refrigerant filled veins I thought were cool,
I was a well meaning gent,
But, my opinions were too bent,
To make them a real useful tool.
Saturday, November 4, 2017
TOTAL MICHIGAN SEASONS : 2.1
In Michigan you don't get much fall,
Fall is hardly a season at all,
Fall is just a small splinter,
Between summer and winter,
And, the spring season we don't get at all.
Fall is hardly a season at all,
Fall is just a small splinter,
Between summer and winter,
And, the spring season we don't get at all.
Labels:
FALL,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
Michigan Seasons,
Seasonal Change,
Spring,
SUMMER,
WINTER
Wednesday, November 1, 2017
SANTA WENT FISHING LIMERICK
Santa went fishing way out on a bay,
He ran out of bait so he used his tope,
He caught a big steelhead trout,
His tope went to the bottom no doubt,
Now, Santa is bald untill this very day.
He ran out of bait so he used his tope,
He caught a big steelhead trout,
His tope went to the bottom no doubt,
Now, Santa is bald untill this very day.
Labels:
SANTA FISHING LIMERICK,
SANTA HUMOR,
SANTA SATIRE
ODE TO THE DEEP DARK WEB
Why not live on the deep dark web,
The deep dark web's for me,
Why not live on the deep dark web,
Where the media all comes free,
I use to pay for this and that,
Yeah, all those subscriber fees,
I ate Ramon noodles while the fat cats got fat,
I watched old TV while they watched new sleaze,
Now, I recommend the deep dark web,
You get great content without the billing,
The games, music, and shows on the deep dark web,
Are absolutely thrilling,
Well, things have changed an awful lot,
Since, I found the deep dark web,
It's like I've found a new formed Camelot,
While, my cash outflows have a major ebb.
The deep dark web's for me,
Why not live on the deep dark web,
Where the media all comes free,
I use to pay for this and that,
Yeah, all those subscriber fees,
I ate Ramon noodles while the fat cats got fat,
I watched old TV while they watched new sleaze,
Now, I recommend the deep dark web,
You get great content without the billing,
The games, music, and shows on the deep dark web,
Are absolutely thrilling,
Well, things have changed an awful lot,
Since, I found the deep dark web,
It's like I've found a new formed Camelot,
While, my cash outflows have a major ebb.
Labels:
Dark Web,
OLD TV SHOWS,
SUBSCRIPTION FEES,
WEB BROWSING
Sunday, October 29, 2017
THE FISH BAIT WHITTLER
I sat in my yard swing giving four hours to a whittle,
Carving a fish bait to the size of a skittle,
Now, some think I should do more,
Than wasting hours times four,
But, I think carving wastes my time very little.
Carving a fish bait to the size of a skittle,
Now, some think I should do more,
Than wasting hours times four,
But, I think carving wastes my time very little.
HENRY'S RUBBER CRAWLERS
Henry went fishing with his rubber crawlers,
They work really well behind fishing traulers,
Just tie on the harness for the worm,
Watch him wiggle and squirm,
Some worms are just natural brawlers.
They work really well behind fishing traulers,
Just tie on the harness for the worm,
Watch him wiggle and squirm,
Some worms are just natural brawlers.
Saturday, October 28, 2017
MY COMPUTER IS SLOWING WAY DOWN
My computer is slowing way down,
My smile is now a stiff frown,
Could it be a virus today?
Or, the net's slow with E-bay?
I'm going to bed after I put on my gown.
My smile is now a stiff frown,
Could it be a virus today?
Or, the net's slow with E-bay?
I'm going to bed after I put on my gown.
Labels:
COMPUTER VIRUS,
E-BAY,
SLOW NET CONNECTION
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
THE CATFISH WAS A GAS AT MY PARTY
A well dressed catfish showed up at my party,
We played clue and that catfish was a smarty,
He always knew which weapon and room,
And thus, the murderer he could assume,
Too bad he ate bean dip and got farty.
BANKERS THEE
Mel and Bernie Bankers Thee,
What will you guys take from me?
You took my money,
You took my house,
You even took my kids and spouse.
What will you guys take from me?
You took my money,
You took my house,
You even took my kids and spouse.
Tuesday, October 24, 2017
GUIDE TO BEING A LADIES MAN LIMERICK
If a guy over ladies wants power,
Then, at least once a day he should shower,
And, to remove a romantic despair,
A guy should well wash his hair,
And, fart only once every hour.
Monday, October 23, 2017
A LEPRECHAUN NAMED PETE
There was a leprechaun named Pete,
Corned beef and cabbage was all he’d eat,
He was full of green gas,
And, could not get a lass,
He made music all night tweet, tweet, tweet.
There was a leprechaun named Sam,
He loved his eggs, bacon and ham,
He once ate a green bean,
It gassed up his small spleen,
Then, he released the gas with a “Bam!”
Corned beef and cabbage was all he’d eat,
He was full of green gas,
And, could not get a lass,
He made music all night tweet, tweet, tweet.
There was a leprechaun named Sam,
He loved his eggs, bacon and ham,
He once ate a green bean,
It gassed up his small spleen,
Then, he released the gas with a “Bam!”
Sunday, October 22, 2017
BANKING, FRANKING, THE MARKETS AND ME
I lost my money in shadow banking,
While the markets rose my account was tanking,
Of course when the markets eroded,
My account then imploded,
Now, I invest in collectible franking.
While the markets rose my account was tanking,
Of course when the markets eroded,
My account then imploded,
Now, I invest in collectible franking.
Labels:
Collectibles,
Franking,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
MONEY,
Postal Noncollectable,
Shadow Banking
Thursday, October 12, 2017
CORRINE THE MERMAID IN GRAND TRAVERSE BAY
Corrine is a mermaid in Grand Traverse Bay,
She is shy so if she sees you she will swim away,
She swims free like a trout,
But, watches all about,
I'd like to meet and greet her one day.
She is shy so if she sees you she will swim away,
She swims free like a trout,
But, watches all about,
I'd like to meet and greet her one day.
Labels:
GRAND TRAVERSE BAY,
MERMAIDS IN MICHIGAN,
MERMIADS
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
CHIPMUNK VS SQURREL SHOPPIING PHILOSOPHY
The squirrel went to a regular store,
The chipmunk shopped online,
The chipmunk drank his cheap label beer,
The squirrel sampled fine cheese and wine.
The chipmunk shopped online,
The chipmunk drank his cheap label beer,
The squirrel sampled fine cheese and wine.
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
THERE ONCE WAS A CROCODILE NAMED LARRY LIMERICK 1
There once was a crocodile named Larry,
He was the only crock that was hairy,
His fangs were real long,
His claws sharp and strong,
He certainly looked very scary.
He was the only crock that was hairy,
His fangs were real long,
His claws sharp and strong,
He certainly looked very scary.
Monday, October 9, 2017
THE ROAD MOST TAKEN
If you take the road most taken,
You’ll bring home a lot of bacon,
Take the road that’s not,
You won’t have a pot,
Then, with your family you will be forsaken.
You’ll bring home a lot of bacon,
Take the road that’s not,
You won’t have a pot,
Then, with your family you will be forsaken.
Thursday, October 5, 2017
DANNY HATED BOOKS
Danny hated books,
Reading hurt his head too much,
Became Senator.
Reading hurt his head too much,
Became Senator.
Monday, October 2, 2017
LARRY THE CROCODILE LIMERICK 2
Larry the crocodile owns a bank,
He swims all day in his deluxe fish tank,
If your payments are late,
Then, you will surely be ate,
It's a fate with a really low rank.
He swims all day in his deluxe fish tank,
If your payments are late,
Then, you will surely be ate,
It's a fate with a really low rank.
Sunday, October 1, 2017
GENERATIONS NO DOUGH
The days are long,
The nights are short,
So, my late nights out,
I must abort,
Working long hours,
Can't get ahead,
What the man don't steal,
I must send to the fed,
I have no vacations,
I have low pay,
While my rich, rich boss,
Lives on holiday,
My parents were poor,
No money to blow,
So, ad infinitum,
Generations, no dough.
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