Larry the crocodile owns a bank,
He swims all day in his deluxe fish tank,
If your payments are late,
Then, you will surely be ate,
It's a fate with a really low rank.
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Monday, October 2, 2017
LARRY THE CROCODILE LIMERICK 2
Sunday, October 1, 2017
GENERATIONS NO DOUGH
The days are long,
The nights are short,
So, my late nights out,
I must abort,
Working long hours,
Can't get ahead,
What the man don't steal,
I must send to the fed,
I have no vacations,
I have low pay,
While my rich, rich boss,
Lives on holiday,
My parents were poor,
No money to blow,
So, ad infinitum,
Generations, no dough.
Friday, September 29, 2017
PEPPY THE ANTIQUE PICKER LIMERICK
Peppy was a popular picker of antique coins and clothes,
She did not have to see a top pick; she could smell it with her nose,
But, something went really funny,
When Peppy thought she smelled old money,
Because, the smell came from the big toe jams in between her toes.
She did not have to see a top pick; she could smell it with her nose,
But, something went really funny,
When Peppy thought she smelled old money,
Because, the smell came from the big toe jams in between her toes.
Wednesday, September 20, 2017
THE TWIT WHO WRIT THE SKIT
I be the twit who writ the skit,
About the possum who liked to knit,
I thought it had an Emmy's gold glow,
As a series TV show,
Alas, I found no network who liked the bit.
Thursday, September 14, 2017
SAVANNAH TOO SMART
Savannah was just too smart,
She was segregated apart,
She had such a yearn,
To be too stupid to learn,
And to laugh when one throws a lawn jart.
She was segregated apart,
She had such a yearn,
To be too stupid to learn,
And to laugh when one throws a lawn jart.
Labels:
BRAINY FREAKS,
GEEKS,
GREEKS,
LAWN JARTS,
TO BE TOO SMART
Sunday, September 10, 2017
CLARITY OF MIND
Today I had a "clarity of mind,"
I realized that I was in a real bind,
My taxes were due,
My insurances too,
And, no money could I find.
I realized that I was in a real bind,
My taxes were due,
My insurances too,
And, no money could I find.
Labels:
Bills,
BROKE,
Financial Bind,
HUMOR,
insurance,
LIMERICK,
Personal Finance,
TAXES
Saturday, September 9, 2017
IVAN THE BEAR LIKES FISH
There was a grizzly bear named Ivan,
In the river he'd go a diving,
He'd make a wish,
Dive for a fish,
A fish dinner he was a striving.
In the river he'd go a diving,
He'd make a wish,
Dive for a fish,
A fish dinner he was a striving.
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
BUNNY BLUE WAS MY FAVORITE BOOK
Bunny Blue was my favorite book,
My mom would read it in the window nook,
And, every single word,
I memorized as I heard,
With each page where my eyes took a look.
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
MY CRITIQUE OF DINERS
I read all the silly little signs,
At the places where I dines,
I also notice the sticky tables,
And, the toilet monsters born from fables,
But, all ends well with beers and wines.
Monday, August 21, 2017
THE ONLINE CREEPY CRAWLERS
Everywhere online I go,
The creepy crawlers think they know,
My wants good and bad,
They target with ad,
To get a click to make some dough.
The creepy crawlers think they know,
My wants good and bad,
They target with ad,
To get a click to make some dough.
Labels:
advertising,
clicks,
HUMOR,
internet,
LIMERICK,
MONEY,
SATIRE,
targeted ads
Friday, August 18, 2017
TEQUILA AND THE ECLIPSE
I went up the hill to watch the eclipse,
The walk was really hard on my hips,
And, Old Sol was unkind,
For my stares made me blind,
Or, was it the tequila that passed over my lips.
Saturday, August 12, 2017
TOO LATE FOR THE TIN TOY SOLDIERS
My tin soldiers were all covered in crust,
I had left them outside for years to just rust,
I cleaned them one day,
And, the rust crust went away,
As my tin soldiers all crumbled to dust.
MY GIRLFRIEND PICKS HER NOSE HAIKU
Girlfriend picks her nose,
Not happy with what I see,
She has job, ignore.
Not happy with what I see,
She has job, ignore.
Friday, August 11, 2017
PAPA CRAIG MITCHELL MIXED HIS COFFEE AND TEA
Papa Craig Mitchell mixed his coffee and tea,
He added milk, sugar and, honey made by a bee,
Many thought he was insane,
Some disease of the brain,
But, Papa Craig Mitchell still lives at age 93.
He added milk, sugar and, honey made by a bee,
Many thought he was insane,
Some disease of the brain,
But, Papa Craig Mitchell still lives at age 93.
Saturday, August 5, 2017
MY BANKER TOLD ME TO BUY REAL ESTATE LIMERICK
My banker told me to buy real estate,
I lost my shirt by the closing date,
My broker said buy stocks,
Then, stocks hit the rocks,
I guess being broke is just my fate.
I lost my shirt by the closing date,
My broker said buy stocks,
Then, stocks hit the rocks,
I guess being broke is just my fate.
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
I LOST MY JOB ETC. LIMERICK
I lost my job, my car and, my home,
I'm kind of stuck with no where to roam,
I've moved in with my parents,
I'm here with forbearance,
I can't drink the stuff with the foam.
I'm kind of stuck with no where to roam,
I've moved in with my parents,
I'm here with forbearance,
I can't drink the stuff with the foam.
Labels:
HAVING TO MOVE IN WITH PARENTS,
LOST CAR,
LOST HOME,
LOST JOB,
NO DRINKING BEER PARENTAL RULE
Sunday, July 23, 2017
WITH NO SPINNER I'LL HAVE NO FISH FOR DINNER
I did not catch no fish for dinner,
For in the weeds I lost my spinner,
And, spinners bring joy,
To each fish girl and fish boy,
So, with no spinner I'm no winner.
Friday, July 21, 2017
THE LEANEST CHICKEN SANDWICH IS NOT AS GOOD AS BEAN
I ate a chicken sandwich guaranteed to be lean,
But, there wasn't any chicken for the sandwich bun was clean,
And, I was in a daze,
Because, there was no mayonnaise,
So, next time I want some protein I'll order a sandwich made from bean.
Sunday, July 16, 2017
DOWN CAME THE OLD WHITE PINE LIMERICK
Down came the old white pine,
After a lightning bolt broke its spine,
Now, I'll use the branches and splinters,
For hearth fires in future winters,
And, leave the needles so the critters to dine.
Labels:
LIGHTNING STRIKE,
LIMERICK,
WHITE PINE
Thursday, July 6, 2017
I JUST MADE THIS TWEET
I just made this tweet,
I just made this twitter,
I commented on someone's poor hygiene,
Then, their response was bitter.
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