Marnie the mouse liked to shuck peas, She cooked them up to eat with her cheese, But, along came the farmer, He wanted to harm her, She got away running right through his knees. Peas were Marnie's favorite treat, Peas were fun to shuck and great to eat, She stole from a farmer who had big feet, He reached for her, and she ran under his seat.
There was a robin named Drifty,
His eyes were real big and shifty,
When Herman the worm,
Decided to Squirm,
Drifty thought his next meal looked nifty.
Drifty liked to head up north,
To spend his summers after the Fourth,
But when the winter winds blew and blew,
Drifty headed south with his girlfriend Sue.
My pig's child support payments had failed,
So, he was arrested and sentenced and jailed,
And, it didn't please the court,
When my pig went "snort, snort,"
For those comments he was really nailed.
Gnomes are really little dudes, They play around and have attitudes, They trample my garden flat, They torment my poor cat, My other pets they see as tasty foods.
There once was a walrus named Lynn,
She took hot sauna baths to get thin,
But, on an all you can eat dinner date,
She ate and she ate,
Then, she gained eighty pounds for her sin.
There was a pretty mermaid named Trish,
If you were nice she’d grant you one wish,
I asked to swim well,
Then, Trish cast her spell,
She turned me into a goldfish.
Something bad happened to my wood deck, This spring it all fell all to heck, On the problem I set sights, And, found ten billion termites, Next, my wood house crashed down in a wreck.
I tried securing a date with the tastiest scones, I recited poetry in soft monotones, But, my lady chose another, In fact, he was my brother, Because of his strong pheromones.
My pet gator is covered with dots, Yet, I gave him all of his shots, But, he likes to eat weasels, And, from them he caught measles, Now, his poor belly is tied up in knots.
Richie was a real vicious rattlesnake, He lived in Michigan near Skegemog Lake, When Cindy had too much ale, She stepped on Richie's tail, Richie bit her and even went to her wake.